she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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