The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
