So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
When are your genitals available?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
