Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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