Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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