Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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