This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i drank out of a bidet.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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