Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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