how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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