So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
