It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
