Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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