I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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