Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
