I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
