is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
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