Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
