i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
