I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
