there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize