My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
