I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Randomize