Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
