girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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