mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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