I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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