Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
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I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
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I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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