Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
