Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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