He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
