You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize