The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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