sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
