Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
