I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
