i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
