so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
