i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize