From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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