i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
