it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
should my penis look like a turkey
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
