I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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