Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
