He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize