all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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