We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
