I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
