so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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