it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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