Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
