my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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