i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
