And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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