Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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