there's paper in my vomit.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
