Don't you send me to vm
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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