At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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