I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
