The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
