At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
