I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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