dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
