Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
