Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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