Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
