...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
we should paint friendship bongs
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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