I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
